no hay problema! You can take this. You the man.

.:Writer's Rite:.

          On these occasions, a documentarian (yea, guess I am one. Aren't we all?) has to stop for a moment of cooling down. Yeah? Well, yea! After all we are, like the rest of these drug-induced quick-pleasure-seeking flittering creatures called humans. Packed with unfinished crunches and stupid jibes to deal with, which'll stain me for the moments to come. So what do I do? I displace, yea. Displace these problems on something of a harmless scheme, like the Super Bowl with its thousands-billion dollars profit. An 'empirical anecdote'. That'll require lots of fucking organization. In the industry we call this, packaging. This project consists of things you bring out with special provisions. You bring out a wannabe analyst, a legless FBI profiler, a private detective from the projects of Maine and 'course a CNN journalist to help you make this story w/ri[gh]te. You can also throw in peripheral ingredients like a mutie-dumb cat with six legs or an American president with a monkey on his back. To turn a notch of your taste buds a bit higher you add in some extra spices. For instance, the theme and setting. There is always some sort of a deserted building or haunted house in the setting. You can have a brick house or a witch house or a crack house or a whore house or just simply the White House.

          Hey dream big, when all we can do is dream great big jumbo-jet dreams. In the U.S. we've got "Football". WTF! "FOOTBALL"?! The name for this game is a fucking joke. Where do you actually see the use of foot in this game? Running?! Try Soccer? Yes, the football. Kick here and then dribble the ball there. oh oh I'm having a spastic overturn. Enough "Football", its a fools game. Since we have our great dreams and ken that we ain't never gonna be champions, it's time to stick with being a vegetarian.
          This guy, who's got 4 eyes, is super vegetarian the habit actually has an added effect on him. This vegie cares so much about the environment, he sees like a pile of trash gob and dog poo on his beautiful front yard. And what does he do? Nothing. Du' just leaves that shit sitting there smelling and polluting the air and says, "all things have its purpose to exist and serve." Hallelujah! Abra Kata bra!
          What did you expect? This is America, the land of opposites. Where a sport which has nothing to do with using a foot is called Football. Balls. Where men are trained to be bunch of retarded bulls (all purposes served) to participate in this game. I mean if you want to act like animals, don't mock them. Go to Spain or Taxes (I highly consider Taxes as a separate country) where you actually fight a bull who'll rip your ass apart if you don't do what he says. More negatives on the scale than the positives, the more yang than ying, oh the poor child. It's America, the baby, toppling on the edge of the world attempting to commit suicide and taking everyone with it. Its Stewie Griffin!

          But before I start this epic, in a seconds-long short moment something hits me
black
right at the part of brain where stored was my first language, babel. It went right through the spot that now occupies the few verbal increments, most of which are expletives. And then we have fireworks.

          Yet at times these problems don't even make sense to you. Other times you hardly realize there had been any problems, not until there had been a trifle visit by syncope. Slowly it comes to you after- what is called the 'fireworks'- that rocket collision of your head with the attic ceiling. An irretrievable memory passes. An unforgettable moment taken. You wait for the static to subside- the snowfall from hell cease to give a clear view of the limbo you've just stepped in. First you take-in the surroundings. Shit load is scattered all over this place. What's that wretched smell? Did i just sh*t myself? The vapor trails that your olfactory follow leads to a clearing in the dark corner of the attic. There you spot -what is apparently a byproduct of Moon- composted weeks worth of cat litter. That's one dead cat! You look down and your left hand is holding holding? what seems to be a collage. Oh and the PAIN! Pain rushes down the arch of your back, punching on every stub on you spine. But there is no need to get a fit and release some uber evil neurotransmitters that'll turn you uber stupid. A stupid vegetarian. Cats are the stupid creatures. Aren't they? It was an accident, ain't it?...

          ...Later is way later, where there was a paper I found that got me so angry. This piece of sheet filled with crap that will ruin my entire career of whatever is that I'm doing. But that's foreshadowing, no logic involved. No need to get a fit. Stupid vegetarian. So I go ahead and dial this number on the paper to fix an arrangement. And guess what's on the other side? A lovely answering machine. No need to get a fit. I simply leave a message and tell her to call me back ASAP so I can help (document) some cancer patients. Yea, I know there I showed some ignorance. But I can't help it. It was displacement. No need get a fit. Mind you the uber evil NTs. Turns you into a stupid vegetarian.

no offense to the vegetarians, I myself am one. xD

i didn't document the "problems" specifically lol

Identity Crysis

Once upon a space and forever there was a Smile. This Smile attempted suicide because it could not stand Laugh.

Mirror in the mirror broke the rest whole and everything most disgusting, the very potent of expletives ever existed or so soon to be an innovation came out of its hole. The Smile saw it in the mirror turning upside down. The Laugh hippty hop in streets leaving a trail of defecates behind. Everyone started to lick it. The drunkards ate it. The Laugh traveled the entire world and the world kept rounding.

But before that when the Laugh started to dominate the world containing mankind, it remembered that without Smile it was not possible. Smile was the initiative of a laughter (it was one of the Laugh’s special ability for the human to make squeaky, loud, distinguishable noises when it reached its level). Smile on the other hand did not have any special ability; it just made a man’s mouth into a stretched watermelon slice shape. For some odd reason when Laugh used laughter it made the man behave awkwardly. The behavior would defer depending on how the laughter was applied. Some people would expel a gastric content through their anus while laughing and it would make noise and smell which would annoy the surrounding people. Others would turn docile, begin to cry along. Pass out. Die. That was the most severe case of Laugh’s laughter.

Laugh had to find Smile and tell him what she was thinking. Oh, by the way, Laugh is a female and Smile, well, is a male. So the Laugh travels to the unconscious of a mind where she knew she would find Smile. On the way into this unconscious of this mere mind, which happened to be getting buzzed by a sort of alcoholic beverage, it turned unconscious into conscious. This mind which occupied a man had been whacked simultaneously by the alcohol intoxicants. The man, who bore nothing but a camouflage under garment, was spieling obscenities. The man opened his mouth and here Laugh, who was buzzed as well, saw the opportunity and the man started to make squeaky louder noise. His under garment was no drier than a wet fish. The man hit the floor limp with his mouth in a shape of a long stretched watermelon slice.

Laugh traveled through the mind and finally found Smile, who was sulking, also, a bit buzzed. Laugh went up to him and said, “I’ve been rethinking about my beliefs and became conclusively stunned by the novelty of it.”

“Yes?” annoyingly smiled Smile.  

“There is no God.”

“There is no God?

“We have been lied to?” Smile smiled ambiguously.

“But wait I have a solution; no, a resolution. Since millenniums past, from monkeys came out the great minds those which came up with the Idea of God. Yeah, these wigs had chronic seizures and they saw the light, the divinity, the presence of GOD.”

“Wow! You can think like this?” Smile smiled nervously.

“But wait if there is no GOD that would mean you and me…”
            “YEESS!” Laugh laughed in excitement.

“WE ARE GOD!” Both made noises in unison.

“So to prove that my IDEA of GOD is better than your IDEA of BUDDAH, COW, hmm FIRE! Leprechaun, Peyote, those sculpted figures of elephants-human hybrids with ten arms-paws-legs replacing it's limbs; and a 15 pound of noose supporting a 15 pound of nose-ring, yesss! that white-bearded dude sitting on the clouds pointing at little people with his big chubby fingers.”
            “What do you have in mind Laugh?” questioned Smile.

“I will get on your back, start pulling your hair, ravingly bite your neck, then steal your shoes and your lucky trousers and maybe end with humping your sofa.”
            “What are you laughing about Laugh? This doesn’t make sense”

“No! Smile listen, let me just finish my quarrel.”

 “Thus WE- with the nut, a noggin, a head full of raunchy jelly beans- are believers. These ideas are keeping us jolly but flipping each other over, HA!” Laugh burst finished in a complete random thermal motion.

“Now that is something to smile about.”  Smile Smiled.